All that makes me Kieran. What runs through the vacant space above my neck
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Point of View
The words we use can have such tags and pre-conceptions attached to them. I was talking about Christians and how we put tags on who is and who is'nt! I was saying that we can not say who is and is'nt as it is their heart that confirms that. Also I said that as Christians we are so hypocrictical as we continually do things worng but then we just hide behind the grace given by God and say that the non-chritians as wosre than us because they do not know God!
Our words have been changed and have been made to be tags and a way for us to look down on other people. When we use them like this we do not show the love that God asks us to. Why have we got it so wrong?
I know that most of the time I am a bad example of what a Christian should be but I also want people to see that i am not perfect but that I get up and try again with God's love being my support.
What do you think?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Eternal Flame
Sorry to hear your news about all the losses but glad to hear how philosophical you sounded as it became resolved - God places things in your path & helps you along the way as these little/big things go pearshaped - all part of the big picture & your life changing journey.....Glad you seem to be fitting into your new way of life & travels, & I always look forward to hearing from you - your chatter is so lively & full of fun - just like you - so the irrepressible young man seems to jump off the pages, larger than life. So keep up the good work, by filling up our boring days back home with the mundaneness of it all.
These words really gave me hope and ligth! It is nice to know that no matter where we are we are able to encourage each other however it maybe, words, a phone call, what ever!
God puts people in our paths as he knows what we need and he wants us to be encouraged and feel loved. I hope that I make people feel loved.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Time to reflect
I pondered about war and why there is so much. I read a fact the other day that said something along the lines that in the past 3500 years there have only been 267 of peace! That shocked me! I feel that the world wars were for peace but what about the Iraq war? Why is that going on? Time to think more I guess.
I think it is important for us to remember about all those who have given their lives for peace.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Bookworm? Never!
Since I have been away I have read 4 books! That 1 more than I had to read for work!
I sat down by the cliffs yesterday after work and thought about this. My conclusion was that I have less to do here, less to do in the sense of people to see, sorting stuff out at home (I don't have a home!) just the day to day things that we usually do. My work now has no real meaning, once the clock hits 3:30pm I'm out of there nly leaving a cloud of dust behind (it's OK I will have to sweep it up in the morning anyway!).
It is quite a nice feeling not having to much to do, but then other days I miss it. I quite liked rushing around doing stuff. People here have said that I am not very good at relaxing, I always seem to be thinking about the next thing I have to do!
On a compleltly diferent note, I received an email form my Princess Leanne saying she had put more pictures on her site, so off I went to view them. It made me smile so much. I saw all three of my princesses and most fo my family, it was a little bit of heaven!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
fish out of water
Having spent Christmas and New Year away from home and in a hot country I felt like a fish out of water! All the festivities were happening but it just did not seem right? Why was I wearing shorts and a vest to go to a beach on Christmas day? Where were my family adn friends? Why did I open my presents on my own sitting on a bed in a dorm with 5 people snoring? All these questions. Yet I still had fun!
It has been a real experience so far out here. I find that people will come and talk to me about what they are worried about or what happened. The strangest one being when I went ot buy some shorts form Footlocker and the 2 workers started to tell me about the manager that has been stealing and what do I think they should do? So I spent the next hour talking to them about the different optiona and possible outcomes! How mad! When I got back to the hostel, everyone just said it could only happen to you Kieran!
It hass been funny to see how people interact with each other, If you are quiet and shy then people tend to give you one chance, if you do not talk after that then sit back and enjoy the silence you will have from now on!
One guy that this has happened to I took for a coffee. after 10 minutes of feeling like I was trying to pull teeth when asking him anyhting, he just suddenly opened up! It was great, I got to find out about his family and his life, aspirations fears the lot! All because I gave him so time!
My New Years resolution; give people the time they deserve!
Monday, November 14, 2005
Highs and Lows
Most days have been good or even great. But sometimes in the day I just suddenly feel lonely! I do not have any of my friends or family around to share these experiences with, something that I love to do.
It has been a real test of myself so far, I am so used to havign people around me that not having them feels so alien. In some ways I do not feel myself. It is also good as I feel that you have to find your feet as your complete self, also it is helping me to share how I feel more when I speak to them, no that is really alien to me!
I just hope that the coming months become easier and that they help me to grow.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Some Good byes!
Yesterday was really cool, I saw Gill in town with Tasha (chilled with the Gill!) we strolled around town for an hour trying to find a photo album. It was great just to spend time with them, and mock Gill for the whole time! Mentioned a name that made her go red!
After that it was off to Aroma for lunch with some of my 6th formers. I will miss them they are fantastic people. There are so many people that I will miss. It was lovely because they said that they want me to call them before I leave.
Also had my leaving service on Sunday, and that was wonderful, people were really encouraging and seemed quite sad that I am leaving. Secretly they are probably really happy!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Monks
It is quiet surprising when you find out abot people, I am really looking forward to this year and meeting many different people for different walks of life and different world views.
We talked about the past and how hard it an be to move on from past hurts, this is very true, sometimes the pain seems just as real as it did when you first encountered it. We talked about the whole forgive and forget senerio, and we said that there is a lot of value on remembering; not holding it against or over people but lettign God work in you through what has happened. I pray that he does that in me
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
the big ear in the sky
We even talked about God and about when I just need time to be quiet and reflect where do I go? I told them I go to Turvey Abbey and just spend time with God, because he always wants to listen as he is so interested in us.
I left Sainsbury's coffee shop (they should give me some sort of discount there, the amount of time I spend there!) and took a slow walk home praying for them and the situation that they are going through. I pray that they meet God in such a real way.
Someone once said to me that peole share stuff with me that they may not tell others because 'Ihave the eyes'! Was not to sure what they meant but God has given me something as people do share with me and I am grateful that they trust me.
Had a teacher in school talk to me about there plans for the future, or lack of them! Praying for them too! Let's hope God answers some of these before I go.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Prison
It was a very insightful day. We were taken on a tour, shown the shower block, a cell and the common room. We then went to the chapel and were shown what you would receive in prison i.e. clothes, bedding and your ration pack, either chocolate and sweets or a smokers pack. Next they talked to us about prison life, the violence, loneliness what it is really like. This was an eye opener, most trouble happens in prison because of debt, what ever you borrow you pay back double. We saw pictures of injuries received from violence in prison.
After this we saw a drama written and preformed by the inmates themselves. It depicted the life of one person and the choices they made along with what could have happened had they have chosen differently. It was interspersed with their stories. At the end we were able to ask them questions. It was something different, most of the 25 inmates we met had got to prison because of drugs.
I came away deeply affected by the whole day, these men knew that they had made bad choices in their lives, many of them had been dealt a bad hand in life but they said that it was still themselves who had made the choices to put them in jail. So often we pass blame to others for the reason why we are in the crap, but sometimes we put ourselves there.
I am not saying that they are innocent, as they would agree that they are not, but they say that they have seen the error of their ways and are hoping to help young people make better choices for their futures.
It also made me think about how they must get treated once they have left prison. WOuld I give them a job? Not sure? I would like to say yes, but in reality not sure I would.
Jesus was and is an amazing person, being able look past all this stuff, I know that in God's eyes I have sinned just as bad if not worse than those guys in that prison, but God still gives me chance after chance, shouldn't we do the same?
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Soul Survivor Pictures
It was a great time as I have posted before. Hopefully now you will be able to see for yourself!
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Horizon
The horizon! What is on the horizon? What does the future hold? Who knows? Well one person knows but as yet he has not told me.
It feels rather funny adn weird at the moment. So much is happening as I prepare to take my next venture. It feels strange preparing to leave LCET. That has been a place that means a lot to me, more the people than the place. Over the past 4 years I have grown and learnt so much. We have just been preparing some training days for YFC and it has been quite hard to put down what I have learnt. The 2 sessions that I am part of are 'Issuses in taking lessons' and , wait for it ....... 'Story Telling'!! Not sure I could have got a better 2! So all week I have been trying to work out about story telling. It is just something that I have always done. Joys of an over-active imagination!
At first I was thinking 'I am not sure if I have anything that i can teach anyone?' But as the planning time went on I realised how much I have learnt! It was really cool! So really all I have done this week is tell stories!
I will let you know how it goes!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Best Job Ever!
SOmething that I mean to write about recently and have only just got
round to is the fact of how privileged I feel to be able to work with
young people.
So much happened over the summer holidays to make me think how
grateful I am to do what I do! First of all there was Face the Fish,
which was awesome. The time I got to spend with different kids was
great, being able to run the Soul Cafe and see kids giving each other
chance when maybe usually they don't!
Then it was Soul Survivor, this was cool as I got to catch up with
some guys that i had not seen in a while, some of the first young
people I started to work with. Over the week we had great chats. By
the end of it all 3 of them had decided to get baptised!! This was
so cool, I was invited to the service, and as I listened to their
stories of how they came to know God 2 of them said that i had played
a huge part in their journey! I was amazed and so grateful to God
for where he has placed me and who he has made me to be, also just
felt humbled by the whole thing!
After this I had some other guys from Newman that I have done some
stuff with call me on the results day and asked if they could pop
round to share their results with me! This was 10 in the morning and
they woke me up calling me! Again I felt so privileged as they had
only just got them and then they wanted to come over and show me!
Also I drove some 6th formers to the back of beyond to go sky
diving. They were staying over and they wanted me to stay too! I
was gutted that I could not, I had to tell them that I would have to
ask them not to drink etc, so I thought it best I did not stop their
fun, but hey I went back the next day to collect them and it was great.
As I start to prepare to go, it is things like these that I will
really miss, the joy of the job I do is when I see something happen
in them or I see a real change in our relationship.
God has been so good to me and has let me see so many great things, I
pray that over the coming year and beyond that that I see even more.
Not sure what he has in store for me but I am sure that it will be
awesome!
Face the Fish
If it does then you should see a picture of Tim and I hard at work in the Soul Cafe! Well not quite hard at work as it had finished and this was us reviewing whay we had done. The funny thing is that we spent more time reviewing than we did planning! It was great to work with him, Tim is a top man with a great sense of humor and fantastic at performing skills. I will miss the fact of not being able to do this with him next year as I will be the other side of the globe! I am sure he will find a suitable replacement!
Photo uploading, here goes!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Soul Survivor
Got back form Soul Survivor yesterday after helping take a group of
young people from Luton, who were absolute pleasure to be with.
(Guess I should say hello to a few - Tom, Simon, Gill, Hannah, Dan, Gareth, Abby, Louanne)
It was an amazing week and God really moved in everyone including
myself! It was a privilege to see those young people move on in
their faith. I went away feeling slightly less passionate about the
year ahead and about the work I do and even low in my faith. I had
asked myself all the usual questions Am I in the right place? Am I
really called to this? And all that sort of stuff. But God really
spoke to me in lots of ways, I feel a real peace about the year ahead
now. I felt God say that He will not leave me and that He will let
me know what he has in store for me when it is time!
He also spoke to me through other people which really encouraged me,
people really believe in me! That to is a privilege!
I am looking forward to hooking up with some churches while I am away
to hopefully do some youth work of some sort! I got quite excited
about that while I was away. I think that because I had got restless
at work as well as everywhere else I had lost a some of the passion
that I had for the work that I do. After being away this week I feel
that I have got that passion back and with going away it gives me a
whole load of new challenges!
Repeated myself slightly, but hey it's my blog and I can write what I
like!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Lifted!
Tonight I had a good time with a good friend. We talked for quite a
while (we have not done that for a long time).
We shot the breeze for a while and then we just started to have quite
deep conversation. They said that I always keep people at a distance
but I let them believe that I have let them into my circle but really
they are on the outside! They said that I do this with everyone and
that there are only a few people that can actually see the 'me'
behind the mask.
This got me really thinking! Why do I keep people at such a
distance? Recently a friend said to me 'I can not tell you what I
know about you!' They have known me for some time and yet they can
not recall anytime that I have shared something with them.
I get a bit obsessive about anyone trying to read my mail, emails or
texts on my phone, but yet I have nothing to hide! Why is this?
My friend tonight said something that really encouraged me. It gave
me such encouragement because they really meant it, what they said
was 'I truly believe in you. You will succeed in all that you do!'
This meant a lot to me because as I prepare to go away for a year on
my own - anyone who knows me knows that this is a huge deal as I
always want people around as I am an extreme extrovert! I have to
deal with the fact that I am going to face hard times, lonely times,
times of just feeling inadequate and not feeling myself. So for them
to say this really lifted me, they said that I may face these times
but they believe I will overcome them. I pray that it will be these
times that will draw me closer to God, that I will rely on His
strength and not my own. That is the other challenge; not being
strong. I am always strong, I try never to let my emotions out.
Sometimes you just can't help it.
I was given a picture of one of my Princesses and I just stared at it
and then thought of what it will be like to leave them, that got me
upset! See even I have emotions.
What will the next 12 months have in store for me? Who knows! What
I do know is that as I a person I am bound to change and I pray that
it be for the better!
I think that this is enough for one night!
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Still recovering!
Camp finished last week (Monday afternoon for me as I had to drop a
load of stuff back!), but I am still tired. Each day I or night I
say that I will get up at about 10am, but I actually pull myself out
of my pit about 1!!
Maybe I am just lazy?!
Need to say hello to Sunshine or she will moan, so 'Hello'. So
called Sunshine as she always brings a ray of light when ever she
opens her mouth. Irony is such a great thing!!
Still suffering the post camp blues, missing it all. Also keep
thinking if next year and the fact that I will be across the other
side of the world while it is happening. Always the year after.
Tim has been checking the BBC Talent website (no not for a new Bint)
to see if there is an opening for The Tim and Kieran Show! (Maybe a
more catchy title is needed!).
Who knows maybe we will be famous! Liz I will let you know how far
our tactic gets us!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Home Sweet Home
I have been away on summer camp for the past week and it has been great! The kids were superb and the leaders were fab!I always get back off camp and actually miss the leaders, I always miss all the fun that we had in the team lounge, giving people nick names like Sunshine, and Hairy, or even Mugarbie!
It was an awesome week, I got to work really closely with a great guy called Martin, he always helps on camps but this time I worked with him the whole week and he is a true legend!
Tim and I ran a Soul Cafe in the evenings which was a chill out and get entertained type of thing! We had a great laugh, we did not plan to much other than what feature would come next the rest we left to happen! It was just how we liked it!
I got a bit sad as I will miss the next summer camp as I will be away traveling, who knows I might get involved on something over there!
The other great thing about camp is that you see kids change over a week. I played basket ball with some kids one evening and after I told them that I would not let them swear or cheat they had a little moan they just got on with it! They let kids play that were not so popular or were not very good and they gave them a chance, that to me was God at work!
I am looking forward to all the leaders going out for a curry next Monday!
Also the celebrations were something different! Churches have a lot to learn from what happened!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Summer Camp and Wifi Monks!
Not sure where to start? I start to make some lists and then I wander off on a tangent and end up doing something else (like writing a post on my blog!).
Last week in one hand was good, we went on team retreat and the other hand the news of the bomb attacks has really left a strange mood. The day before everyone was over joyed about getting the Olympics and then under 24 hours later everything changes. What is the world coming to?
Last week at Turvey (the Abbey we go to for team retreat) I found out the the monks have wifi internet! They are monks, they probably shouldn't have internet let alone wifi! I am half expecting to see Brother Tom pull up in a brand new Lotus next time I am there! Each time I meet them I gain more respect for them and I am also more amazed about the life of a wifi internet monk!
One strange thing on team retreat was planning dates for next year. If you do not already know I am off traveling in November so I will be leaving LCET! It felt strange and slightly sad only having to write down the dates for what is happening up to the end of October! I started to miss it all already, the Christmas dinner that the trustees put on for us, team retreats and even training days believe it or not! In 16 weeks I will be gone and Luton will be a brighter place for some - check out the post about the one who hates me!!
If you want to keep up with my travels check out my other Blog!