Well I have now been away for 11 days and Ihave had some highs and lows.
Most days have been good or even great. But sometimes in the day I just suddenly feel lonely! I do not have any of my friends or family around to share these experiences with, something that I love to do.
It has been a real test of myself so far, I am so used to havign people around me that not having them feels so alien. In some ways I do not feel myself. It is also good as I feel that you have to find your feet as your complete self, also it is helping me to share how I feel more when I speak to them, no that is really alien to me!
I just hope that the coming months become easier and that they help me to grow.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Some Good byes!
Let start by saying that I chose this picture just because it looks good! My blog, My choice!
Yesterday was really cool, I saw Gill in town with Tasha (chilled with the Gill!) we strolled around town for an hour trying to find a photo album. It was great just to spend time with them, and mock Gill for the whole time! Mentioned a name that made her go red!
After that it was off to Aroma for lunch with some of my 6th formers. I will miss them they are fantastic people. There are so many people that I will miss. It was lovely because they said that they want me to call them before I leave.
Also had my leaving service on Sunday, and that was wonderful, people were really encouraging and seemed quite sad that I am leaving. Secretly they are probably really happy!
Yesterday was really cool, I saw Gill in town with Tasha (chilled with the Gill!) we strolled around town for an hour trying to find a photo album. It was great just to spend time with them, and mock Gill for the whole time! Mentioned a name that made her go red!
After that it was off to Aroma for lunch with some of my 6th formers. I will miss them they are fantastic people. There are so many people that I will miss. It was lovely because they said that they want me to call them before I leave.
Also had my leaving service on Sunday, and that was wonderful, people were really encouraging and seemed quite sad that I am leaving. Secretly they are probably really happy!
Friday, October 21, 2005
Monks
I spent last night at Turvey Abbey, a wonderful place that i have been to many times with LCET. But last night I went on my own to seek some quiet time with God and spend a great evening with a good friend and monk Brother Tom. It was a fab time we chatted and we prayed, we drank wine and we laughed. It was just a great evening, we learnt so much about each other.
It is quiet surprising when you find out abot people, I am really looking forward to this year and meeting many different people for different walks of life and different world views.
We talked about the past and how hard it an be to move on from past hurts, this is very true, sometimes the pain seems just as real as it did when you first encountered it. We talked about the whole forgive and forget senerio, and we said that there is a lot of value on remembering; not holding it against or over people but lettign God work in you through what has happened. I pray that he does that in me
It is quiet surprising when you find out abot people, I am really looking forward to this year and meeting many different people for different walks of life and different world views.
We talked about the past and how hard it an be to move on from past hurts, this is very true, sometimes the pain seems just as real as it did when you first encountered it. We talked about the whole forgive and forget senerio, and we said that there is a lot of value on remembering; not holding it against or over people but lettign God work in you through what has happened. I pray that he does that in me
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
the big ear in the sky
Yesterday I met a good friend of mine and they shared what they are going through right now. It was good to be able to listen to them, from what they said everyone else just has advice for them and not the time to just listen.
We even talked about God and about when I just need time to be quiet and reflect where do I go? I told them I go to Turvey Abbey and just spend time with God, because he always wants to listen as he is so interested in us.
I left Sainsbury's coffee shop (they should give me some sort of discount there, the amount of time I spend there!) and took a slow walk home praying for them and the situation that they are going through. I pray that they meet God in such a real way.
Someone once said to me that peole share stuff with me that they may not tell others because 'Ihave the eyes'! Was not to sure what they meant but God has given me something as people do share with me and I am grateful that they trust me.
Had a teacher in school talk to me about there plans for the future, or lack of them! Praying for them too! Let's hope God answers some of these before I go.
We even talked about God and about when I just need time to be quiet and reflect where do I go? I told them I go to Turvey Abbey and just spend time with God, because he always wants to listen as he is so interested in us.
I left Sainsbury's coffee shop (they should give me some sort of discount there, the amount of time I spend there!) and took a slow walk home praying for them and the situation that they are going through. I pray that they meet God in such a real way.
Someone once said to me that peole share stuff with me that they may not tell others because 'Ihave the eyes'! Was not to sure what they meant but God has given me something as people do share with me and I am grateful that they trust me.
Had a teacher in school talk to me about there plans for the future, or lack of them! Praying for them too! Let's hope God answers some of these before I go.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Prison
Yesterday I helped take 13 year 10 and 11 pupils to a prison. It was a strange day for many reasons. Firstly I was quite looking forward to meeting real inmates and seeing inside a real working prison. Secondly and the rather scary reason was that these pupils had been hand picked because it seems that they are in risk of ending up in prison!
It was a very insightful day. We were taken on a tour, shown the shower block, a cell and the common room. We then went to the chapel and were shown what you would receive in prison i.e. clothes, bedding and your ration pack, either chocolate and sweets or a smokers pack. Next they talked to us about prison life, the violence, loneliness what it is really like. This was an eye opener, most trouble happens in prison because of debt, what ever you borrow you pay back double. We saw pictures of injuries received from violence in prison.
After this we saw a drama written and preformed by the inmates themselves. It depicted the life of one person and the choices they made along with what could have happened had they have chosen differently. It was interspersed with their stories. At the end we were able to ask them questions. It was something different, most of the 25 inmates we met had got to prison because of drugs.
I came away deeply affected by the whole day, these men knew that they had made bad choices in their lives, many of them had been dealt a bad hand in life but they said that it was still themselves who had made the choices to put them in jail. So often we pass blame to others for the reason why we are in the crap, but sometimes we put ourselves there.
I am not saying that they are innocent, as they would agree that they are not, but they say that they have seen the error of their ways and are hoping to help young people make better choices for their futures.
It also made me think about how they must get treated once they have left prison. WOuld I give them a job? Not sure? I would like to say yes, but in reality not sure I would.
Jesus was and is an amazing person, being able look past all this stuff, I know that in God's eyes I have sinned just as bad if not worse than those guys in that prison, but God still gives me chance after chance, shouldn't we do the same?
It was a very insightful day. We were taken on a tour, shown the shower block, a cell and the common room. We then went to the chapel and were shown what you would receive in prison i.e. clothes, bedding and your ration pack, either chocolate and sweets or a smokers pack. Next they talked to us about prison life, the violence, loneliness what it is really like. This was an eye opener, most trouble happens in prison because of debt, what ever you borrow you pay back double. We saw pictures of injuries received from violence in prison.
After this we saw a drama written and preformed by the inmates themselves. It depicted the life of one person and the choices they made along with what could have happened had they have chosen differently. It was interspersed with their stories. At the end we were able to ask them questions. It was something different, most of the 25 inmates we met had got to prison because of drugs.
I came away deeply affected by the whole day, these men knew that they had made bad choices in their lives, many of them had been dealt a bad hand in life but they said that it was still themselves who had made the choices to put them in jail. So often we pass blame to others for the reason why we are in the crap, but sometimes we put ourselves there.
I am not saying that they are innocent, as they would agree that they are not, but they say that they have seen the error of their ways and are hoping to help young people make better choices for their futures.
It also made me think about how they must get treated once they have left prison. WOuld I give them a job? Not sure? I would like to say yes, but in reality not sure I would.
Jesus was and is an amazing person, being able look past all this stuff, I know that in God's eyes I have sinned just as bad if not worse than those guys in that prison, but God still gives me chance after chance, shouldn't we do the same?
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Soul Survivor Pictures
I have just uploaded the pictures form Soul Survivor 2005. Hopefully this will keep Gill quiet for a bit as everytime I have seen her she has nagged me!
It was a great time as I have posted before. Hopefully now you will be able to see for yourself!
It was a great time as I have posted before. Hopefully now you will be able to see for yourself!
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Horizon
Saw this picture this evening and it seemed to capture a lot that I have been thinking about.
The horizon! What is on the horizon? What does the future hold? Who knows? Well one person knows but as yet he has not told me.
It feels rather funny adn weird at the moment. So much is happening as I prepare to take my next venture. It feels strange preparing to leave LCET. That has been a place that means a lot to me, more the people than the place. Over the past 4 years I have grown and learnt so much. We have just been preparing some training days for YFC and it has been quite hard to put down what I have learnt. The 2 sessions that I am part of are 'Issuses in taking lessons' and , wait for it ....... 'Story Telling'!! Not sure I could have got a better 2! So all week I have been trying to work out about story telling. It is just something that I have always done. Joys of an over-active imagination!
At first I was thinking 'I am not sure if I have anything that i can teach anyone?' But as the planning time went on I realised how much I have learnt! It was really cool! So really all I have done this week is tell stories!
I will let you know how it goes!
The horizon! What is on the horizon? What does the future hold? Who knows? Well one person knows but as yet he has not told me.
It feels rather funny adn weird at the moment. So much is happening as I prepare to take my next venture. It feels strange preparing to leave LCET. That has been a place that means a lot to me, more the people than the place. Over the past 4 years I have grown and learnt so much. We have just been preparing some training days for YFC and it has been quite hard to put down what I have learnt. The 2 sessions that I am part of are 'Issuses in taking lessons' and , wait for it ....... 'Story Telling'!! Not sure I could have got a better 2! So all week I have been trying to work out about story telling. It is just something that I have always done. Joys of an over-active imagination!
At first I was thinking 'I am not sure if I have anything that i can teach anyone?' But as the planning time went on I realised how much I have learnt! It was really cool! So really all I have done this week is tell stories!
I will let you know how it goes!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Best Job Ever!
SOmething that I mean to write about recently and have only just got
round to is the fact of how privileged I feel to be able to work with
young people.
So much happened over the summer holidays to make me think how
grateful I am to do what I do! First of all there was Face the Fish,
which was awesome. The time I got to spend with different kids was
great, being able to run the Soul Cafe and see kids giving each other
chance when maybe usually they don't!
Then it was Soul Survivor, this was cool as I got to catch up with
some guys that i had not seen in a while, some of the first young
people I started to work with. Over the week we had great chats. By
the end of it all 3 of them had decided to get baptised!! This was
so cool, I was invited to the service, and as I listened to their
stories of how they came to know God 2 of them said that i had played
a huge part in their journey! I was amazed and so grateful to God
for where he has placed me and who he has made me to be, also just
felt humbled by the whole thing!
After this I had some other guys from Newman that I have done some
stuff with call me on the results day and asked if they could pop
round to share their results with me! This was 10 in the morning and
they woke me up calling me! Again I felt so privileged as they had
only just got them and then they wanted to come over and show me!
Also I drove some 6th formers to the back of beyond to go sky
diving. They were staying over and they wanted me to stay too! I
was gutted that I could not, I had to tell them that I would have to
ask them not to drink etc, so I thought it best I did not stop their
fun, but hey I went back the next day to collect them and it was great.
As I start to prepare to go, it is things like these that I will
really miss, the joy of the job I do is when I see something happen
in them or I see a real change in our relationship.
God has been so good to me and has let me see so many great things, I
pray that over the coming year and beyond that that I see even more.
Not sure what he has in store for me but I am sure that it will be
awesome!
Face the Fish
Just trying to upload photos via flickr! Hopefully this will work.
If it does then you should see a picture of Tim and I hard at work in the Soul Cafe! Well not quite hard at work as it had finished and this was us reviewing whay we had done. The funny thing is that we spent more time reviewing than we did planning! It was great to work with him, Tim is a top man with a great sense of humor and fantastic at performing skills. I will miss the fact of not being able to do this with him next year as I will be the other side of the globe! I am sure he will find a suitable replacement!
Photo uploading, here goes!
If it does then you should see a picture of Tim and I hard at work in the Soul Cafe! Well not quite hard at work as it had finished and this was us reviewing whay we had done. The funny thing is that we spent more time reviewing than we did planning! It was great to work with him, Tim is a top man with a great sense of humor and fantastic at performing skills. I will miss the fact of not being able to do this with him next year as I will be the other side of the globe! I am sure he will find a suitable replacement!
Photo uploading, here goes!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Soul Survivor
Got back form Soul Survivor yesterday after helping take a group of
young people from Luton, who were absolute pleasure to be with.
(Guess I should say hello to a few - Tom, Simon, Gill, Hannah, Dan, Gareth, Abby, Louanne)
It was an amazing week and God really moved in everyone including
myself! It was a privilege to see those young people move on in
their faith. I went away feeling slightly less passionate about the
year ahead and about the work I do and even low in my faith. I had
asked myself all the usual questions Am I in the right place? Am I
really called to this? And all that sort of stuff. But God really
spoke to me in lots of ways, I feel a real peace about the year ahead
now. I felt God say that He will not leave me and that He will let
me know what he has in store for me when it is time!
He also spoke to me through other people which really encouraged me,
people really believe in me! That to is a privilege!
I am looking forward to hooking up with some churches while I am away
to hopefully do some youth work of some sort! I got quite excited
about that while I was away. I think that because I had got restless
at work as well as everywhere else I had lost a some of the passion
that I had for the work that I do. After being away this week I feel
that I have got that passion back and with going away it gives me a
whole load of new challenges!
Repeated myself slightly, but hey it's my blog and I can write what I
like!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Lifted!
Tonight I had a good time with a good friend. We talked for quite a
while (we have not done that for a long time).
We shot the breeze for a while and then we just started to have quite
deep conversation. They said that I always keep people at a distance
but I let them believe that I have let them into my circle but really
they are on the outside! They said that I do this with everyone and
that there are only a few people that can actually see the 'me'
behind the mask.
This got me really thinking! Why do I keep people at such a
distance? Recently a friend said to me 'I can not tell you what I
know about you!' They have known me for some time and yet they can
not recall anytime that I have shared something with them.
I get a bit obsessive about anyone trying to read my mail, emails or
texts on my phone, but yet I have nothing to hide! Why is this?
My friend tonight said something that really encouraged me. It gave
me such encouragement because they really meant it, what they said
was 'I truly believe in you. You will succeed in all that you do!'
This meant a lot to me because as I prepare to go away for a year on
my own - anyone who knows me knows that this is a huge deal as I
always want people around as I am an extreme extrovert! I have to
deal with the fact that I am going to face hard times, lonely times,
times of just feeling inadequate and not feeling myself. So for them
to say this really lifted me, they said that I may face these times
but they believe I will overcome them. I pray that it will be these
times that will draw me closer to God, that I will rely on His
strength and not my own. That is the other challenge; not being
strong. I am always strong, I try never to let my emotions out.
Sometimes you just can't help it.
I was given a picture of one of my Princesses and I just stared at it
and then thought of what it will be like to leave them, that got me
upset! See even I have emotions.
What will the next 12 months have in store for me? Who knows! What
I do know is that as I a person I am bound to change and I pray that
it be for the better!
I think that this is enough for one night!
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Still recovering!
Camp finished last week (Monday afternoon for me as I had to drop a
load of stuff back!), but I am still tired. Each day I or night I
say that I will get up at about 10am, but I actually pull myself out
of my pit about 1!!
Maybe I am just lazy?!
Need to say hello to Sunshine or she will moan, so 'Hello'. So
called Sunshine as she always brings a ray of light when ever she
opens her mouth. Irony is such a great thing!!
Still suffering the post camp blues, missing it all. Also keep
thinking if next year and the fact that I will be across the other
side of the world while it is happening. Always the year after.
Tim has been checking the BBC Talent website (no not for a new Bint)
to see if there is an opening for The Tim and Kieran Show! (Maybe a
more catchy title is needed!).
Who knows maybe we will be famous! Liz I will let you know how far
our tactic gets us!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Home Sweet Home
It is so good to be home again!
I have been away on summer camp for the past week and it has been great! The kids were superb and the leaders were fab!I always get back off camp and actually miss the leaders, I always miss all the fun that we had in the team lounge, giving people nick names like Sunshine, and Hairy, or even Mugarbie!
It was an awesome week, I got to work really closely with a great guy called Martin, he always helps on camps but this time I worked with him the whole week and he is a true legend!
Tim and I ran a Soul Cafe in the evenings which was a chill out and get entertained type of thing! We had a great laugh, we did not plan to much other than what feature would come next the rest we left to happen! It was just how we liked it!
I got a bit sad as I will miss the next summer camp as I will be away traveling, who knows I might get involved on something over there!
The other great thing about camp is that you see kids change over a week. I played basket ball with some kids one evening and after I told them that I would not let them swear or cheat they had a little moan they just got on with it! They let kids play that were not so popular or were not very good and they gave them a chance, that to me was God at work!
I am looking forward to all the leaders going out for a curry next Monday!
Also the celebrations were something different! Churches have a lot to learn from what happened!
I have been away on summer camp for the past week and it has been great! The kids were superb and the leaders were fab!I always get back off camp and actually miss the leaders, I always miss all the fun that we had in the team lounge, giving people nick names like Sunshine, and Hairy, or even Mugarbie!
It was an awesome week, I got to work really closely with a great guy called Martin, he always helps on camps but this time I worked with him the whole week and he is a true legend!
Tim and I ran a Soul Cafe in the evenings which was a chill out and get entertained type of thing! We had a great laugh, we did not plan to much other than what feature would come next the rest we left to happen! It was just how we liked it!
I got a bit sad as I will miss the next summer camp as I will be away traveling, who knows I might get involved on something over there!
The other great thing about camp is that you see kids change over a week. I played basket ball with some kids one evening and after I told them that I would not let them swear or cheat they had a little moan they just got on with it! They let kids play that were not so popular or were not very good and they gave them a chance, that to me was God at work!
I am looking forward to all the leaders going out for a curry next Monday!
Also the celebrations were something different! Churches have a lot to learn from what happened!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Summer Camp and Wifi Monks!
It is under 2 weeks until Summer Camp and it still feels as if there is so much to do!
Not sure where to start? I start to make some lists and then I wander off on a tangent and end up doing something else (like writing a post on my blog!).
Last week in one hand was good, we went on team retreat and the other hand the news of the bomb attacks has really left a strange mood. The day before everyone was over joyed about getting the Olympics and then under 24 hours later everything changes. What is the world coming to?
Last week at Turvey (the Abbey we go to for team retreat) I found out the the monks have wifi internet! They are monks, they probably shouldn't have internet let alone wifi! I am half expecting to see Brother Tom pull up in a brand new Lotus next time I am there! Each time I meet them I gain more respect for them and I am also more amazed about the life of a wifi internet monk!
One strange thing on team retreat was planning dates for next year. If you do not already know I am off traveling in November so I will be leaving LCET! It felt strange and slightly sad only having to write down the dates for what is happening up to the end of October! I started to miss it all already, the Christmas dinner that the trustees put on for us, team retreats and even training days believe it or not! In 16 weeks I will be gone and Luton will be a brighter place for some - check out the post about the one who hates me!!
If you want to keep up with my travels check out my other Blog!
Not sure where to start? I start to make some lists and then I wander off on a tangent and end up doing something else (like writing a post on my blog!).
Last week in one hand was good, we went on team retreat and the other hand the news of the bomb attacks has really left a strange mood. The day before everyone was over joyed about getting the Olympics and then under 24 hours later everything changes. What is the world coming to?
Last week at Turvey (the Abbey we go to for team retreat) I found out the the monks have wifi internet! They are monks, they probably shouldn't have internet let alone wifi! I am half expecting to see Brother Tom pull up in a brand new Lotus next time I am there! Each time I meet them I gain more respect for them and I am also more amazed about the life of a wifi internet monk!
One strange thing on team retreat was planning dates for next year. If you do not already know I am off traveling in November so I will be leaving LCET! It felt strange and slightly sad only having to write down the dates for what is happening up to the end of October! I started to miss it all already, the Christmas dinner that the trustees put on for us, team retreats and even training days believe it or not! In 16 weeks I will be gone and Luton will be a brighter place for some - check out the post about the one who hates me!!
If you want to keep up with my travels check out my other Blog!
Monday, July 04, 2005
Hair today, bare tomorrow!
The waxing is now over!
I had a discussion with my friend who did the waxing and believe it
is probably more painful than child birth!
I am sure that my pain threshold must be high as I had to go through
3 sitting to remove the mamouth amount of hair from my chest.
I had it all finished on Saturday, but I am still feeling rather
tender, also my chest is covered in a rash! But have no fear soon I
will be a bronze adonis!
On reflection, I think that might be the last time I get waxed!
Friday, July 01, 2005
Mr Hoody Two Shoes
Just found this great article on the BBC news Website
Fair play to him! To often we tar everyone with the same brush. I recently had a discussion with a friend about race and racisim. He was saying that the problem is all the Asians move into the same area! I asked him "If you were thinking about moving what sort of area would he look for?" He answered by saying a white middle class area! We all want to be around people of similar cultures and backgrounds, so it is no suprise that peole of all different races and background tend to live in the same areas!
Generally all people think teenagers are trouble makers, especailly the ones with hoodies! I work with young people everyday and soem of them are the most wonderful people I have ever met, so caring and kind, just sometimes misunderstood!
I guess it is hard not to judge as we all do judge people as soon as you see someone you start to decide things about them, but we have to try and not let that cloud our thoughts! I was reading Matthew 9:1-13 in the message today and that made me think about how we treat people and how we judge them. What would people think about me if I started to spen my time with drug dealers and prostitues? Would my peers, church and work judge me?
I am not saying that I would not struggle to do this, but as a Christian have our/my views not become like those of the Pharisees?
Fair play to him! To often we tar everyone with the same brush. I recently had a discussion with a friend about race and racisim. He was saying that the problem is all the Asians move into the same area! I asked him "If you were thinking about moving what sort of area would he look for?" He answered by saying a white middle class area! We all want to be around people of similar cultures and backgrounds, so it is no suprise that peole of all different races and background tend to live in the same areas!
Generally all people think teenagers are trouble makers, especailly the ones with hoodies! I work with young people everyday and soem of them are the most wonderful people I have ever met, so caring and kind, just sometimes misunderstood!
I guess it is hard not to judge as we all do judge people as soon as you see someone you start to decide things about them, but we have to try and not let that cloud our thoughts! I was reading Matthew 9:1-13 in the message today and that made me think about how we treat people and how we judge them. What would people think about me if I started to spen my time with drug dealers and prostitues? Would my peers, church and work judge me?
I am not saying that I would not struggle to do this, but as a Christian have our/my views not become like those of the Pharisees?
Wax On Wax Off!
I think I could beat that Mr Meagi (if that is how you spell his name) up!
I went to have my chest waxed last night and it hurt like hell! I have recently become a warewolf and my mum and friends said I should get waxed. They probably just wanted me to go through pain. But I spoke to my friend who does it and she said no probs!
Went round last night nervous as hell, got started and boy did it hurt! It turns out my chest hair is to long and it also grows in different directions! So I had a patch removed and I am going back for the rest to be done tonight!
I will let you know how it goes!
I went to have my chest waxed last night and it hurt like hell! I have recently become a warewolf and my mum and friends said I should get waxed. They probably just wanted me to go through pain. But I spoke to my friend who does it and she said no probs!
Went round last night nervous as hell, got started and boy did it hurt! It turns out my chest hair is to long and it also grows in different directions! So I had a patch removed and I am going back for the rest to be done tonight!
I will let you know how it goes!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Rules for Life
I was sent this by my sister-in-law and liked them. They are the
kind of thing you might expect to find in the book of Proverbs!
Enjoy
1 Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't
have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only
way
to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile
and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and
responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to
correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your
voice.
21. Spend some time alone.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Is it just me?
My friend spoke to me yesterday and said that someone we both know
wants to meet with as they need to discuss with me the fact that they
HATE ME!
Hate me! I was a surprised by this, I know that she is easy to wind
up and she always bites at every little thing, but I never thought
that she would hate. Instantly I started to think of how I could
wind her up more but on contemplation I have decided not to.
She spoke to her home group about it and she said that she would try
and play me at my own game and try and wind me, thankfully someone
had the nouse to say that if this is what I am good at it will only
back fire on her! I feel that person saved her with that comment!
I will meet with her and apologise, no one wants someone to hate
them. The real funny thing is I actually like her, I think that she
is a real great person, but she completely misses my humor! Not to
worry.
I will let you know how it goes! Between me and you I think it all
stems from the fact that my team won Cranium when we played, but keep
that on the QT
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Not so scared
A while ago I posted about being in charge of a huge part of summer
camp and how scared I was about this. Well I am pleased to say that
I am not feeling so scared now.
The planning group that I am part of are great, they have been real
stars. Paul asks more questions than Magnus Magnus, but he is great.
I felt last week that I was way behind but after the last 2 days I
feel nearly on top of things, which is cool. A few urgent jobs
tomorrow and I will feel great
It is good to be stretched, if we are not we become stagnant.
Also read Psalm 23 the other day that is always a great one to read.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Nothing Important
Just realised that I have not blogged for a while so I thought that i
would jot a small something down.
Tomorrow my sister gets married, slightly scary as she is younger
than me and within the next 24hrs she will be a wife. It does make
me think about how things would have been had i have gone through
with getting married, I guess we will never know.
Future is that strange thing that we wished we knew but are also glad
we do not, or at least I do.
I have been thinking a lot about future recently and I am looking
forward to the next 18 months as i have made a few decisions about
where I will be and what i will be doing, life long dreams soon t be
fulfilled!
Part of my plan is to find out what God wants me to do, where he
wants me to be, these questions I have no answer for right now but
hope to soon. I must keep praying about this!
Well that is my little rant over!
PS I have been quite surprised by how many people who have found
this, ooooh scary!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Memories forever
As we all get back to work after the long weekend I look back and
think what a weekend! This has been one of the best weekends I have
ever had.
It is going to be my birthday on Thursday, but I decided to celebrate
it this weekend as it was the Bank hols. Saturday me and my friends
went to St Albans. It was great, I had invited different pockets of
friends and we all went together, everyone spent the entire evening
together and had a great time! I had arranged for a minibus to take
us home and I was able to play tour guide! Bonus!
On Sunday we had a BBQ and many of the people who came out Saturday
and long with a few who did not came round and shared food and
fellowship! My best friends were there and we had so much fun and
laughter!
One of my greatest friends said to me as we stood and chatted on our
own, 'it is a real testament to you to have all these people here to
celebrate your birthday' He told me that a lot of his friends at work
think I am great and love it when I meet up with them, he then said
that he was proud to be my friend!
This just made my whole weekend/birthday/evening the lot! It just
touched me and made me think that God has blessed me with amazing
friends. I am grateful for all the memories that they have given me,
not just this weekend but throughout my life!
I am a person who loves to be around people, I enjoy talking to people
and finding out about them and what they have been up to and all that.
All weekend people have been around and it has been wonderful. Will
be it be the same next year? Who knows. Where will I be next year?
Again who knows.
Friends this is my prayer for you all.
Colossians 1:9-12
you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise
minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough
understanding of the ways in which God works. 10We pray that you'll
live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in
his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn
how to do your work. 11We pray that you'll have the strength to stick
it out over the long haul--not the grim strength of gritting your
teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures
the unendurable and spills over into joy, 12thanking the Father who
makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful
that he has for us.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Another Life
One website I really like is BBC in Pictures and i try to check it every day.
I saw this the other day and it really touched me. Sometimes I think that I have a hard life and that I have been delt a bad hand, but then I see this and think 'thank you God!' So often we complain about life and what is happening and we forget how good we have it! we end up praying God get me out of this, when we should pray Lord give me the strength to get through this. I think it is time to go back and read James.
I also watched the Make Poverty History adverts last night and this one really touched me, check it out. Off to Oxfam to get the band tonight.
Let's pray we can make history.
Now off to eat my fair trade snack bar, yum!
I saw this the other day and it really touched me. Sometimes I think that I have a hard life and that I have been delt a bad hand, but then I see this and think 'thank you God!' So often we complain about life and what is happening and we forget how good we have it! we end up praying God get me out of this, when we should pray Lord give me the strength to get through this. I think it is time to go back and read James.
I also watched the Make Poverty History adverts last night and this one really touched me, check it out. Off to Oxfam to get the band tonight.
Let's pray we can make history.
Now off to eat my fair trade snack bar, yum!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Addictive!
I feel that I have moved up the
ICT ladder by being able to add links
Sitting here feeling slightly smug. Hopefully my blog may now be some
what interesting. It is always nice to have pictures and other stuff to keep you
entertained!
ICT ladder by being able to add links
Sitting here feeling slightly smug. Hopefully my blog may now be some
what interesting. It is always nice to have pictures and other stuff to keep you
entertained!
The Link
After checking out hairs blog and thought that I would be posh and post some links.
See if this one works first!
See if this one works first!
Quote that fits best!
Just found this on my friends blog and thought I may as well have a as
I had a few free seconds!
src="http://images.quizilla.com/P/PainfulBliss/
1113237805_uote.kind1.JPG" border="0" alt="Kind person">
Your wise
quote is: "Be kind to unkind people,
they probably need it the most"
by
Ashleigh Brilliant.
You try to look beyond apperance, try to
give
people second chances and are probably very
kind.
Understanding is your biggest personality
trait, and thoose you can
see through should be
grateful. If they aren't already. You
detest
narrow minded people, because they can't see
what's really
there. Facades is not your thing
and you strive to always be who you
really are.
href="http://quizilla.com/users/PainfulBliss/quizzes/
What%20wise%20quote%20fits%20you%3F(pics)%20UPDATED/"> size="-1">What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
size="-3">brought to you by href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla
Monday, April 25, 2005
Fame and Fortune on it's way!
I have become famous! Please form an orderly cue for photos and
autographs.
I have been mention on the world wide web thanks to Neil 'The Beard
less One' O'Hara! (thought I would repay the favour!)
Check it out
http://neilohara.blogspot.com/2005/04/hey-dell-boy-i-give-you-good-
prize.html
Woo Hoo!
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Pleasant Surprise
Last Saturday it was one of my house mates, Tim's birthday (as it
happens it is the other ones, Gordon's birthday this Saturday, not sure
the bank can take this!), so all 3 of us and a few more friends all
went out for a few birthday drinks.
It was a really pleasant evening, we had had a good laugh and some
entertaining conversation, upon leaving the venue that we had been to
we haled down a taxi for 6 people. We got into the taxi and headed
back to Mansions. The driver was a young Asian man who I talked to the
whole way home about cars.
Once we got home I paid the driver and we all went in to play with
Tim's birthday present a giant pea shooter! After about 10 minutes
there was a knock at the door, I opened it and it was the taxi driver!
He asked if any of us had dropped a wallet in his cab? I looked at the
wallet and thought that it looked like Gordon's, I asked if I could
check for any confirmation that it was Gordon's, he said fine. I
opened it and it had a Gordon's cards and £40 cash! The driver just
said I saw it on the seat and so thought that it must be one of ours!
We gave him some money that he reluctantly accepted and then we went
back in.
We gave the wallet to Gordon and he had not even realised that it was
missing.
I was completely shocked by this as too often you hear stories of
people who have dropped stuff in taxis and never get it back, the
biggest shock of this is that we did not even know that it was missing!
I had a warm feeling come over me, a feeling that maybe there still
are decent people in our society. As a Christian sometimes I feel that
maybe I am a lone voice for honesty, I am happy to say that I am wrong!
Also I wrote a letter to the taxi company (Spearhead 01582 505050) to
tell them what had happened and how amazed I am and grateful!
Thank you Lord that there are still some decent living young people out
there!
Monday, April 18, 2005
Next Step
Been thinking about the next step! Where should I be, what should I be
doing? Those sort of questions. I feel slightly restless and would
like to experience something else, traveling has been something that I
have always wanted to do and it has been on my mind for quite a while
and I have started thinking about just going.
I once thought that I was risk averse rather than risk embracing but
someone I spoke to recently about this said that I am more risk
embracing by the sounds of things as I talk about going on my own soon.
Not to sure what to do, lots of questions to ask myself before I decide
what i will do. In lot's of ways it is the ideal time to go as i have
no commitments or things to hold me down.
Just praying lots about this.
Friday, April 08, 2005
untitled
What an amazing man! Pope John Paul II, even in his death he is
bringing people to God.
To be a Christian is to live like Jesus, but that is so much easier
said than done. I continually struggle like Paul did in Romans 8, I do
what I do not want to do and what I wan to do I do not do! How
frustrating!
As I reflect on life and the past year I see that no matter what God
has been with me, even on those days that I have felt so very far away
he has had me in his wings.
As I contemplate the year ahead my mind starts to wander, where will I
be?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
There is being Stretched and then there is being snapped!
They say that we should always be looking to stretch ourselves, our
abilities, push ourselves to reach more, gain more, never staying still
as we may become stagnant.
Last night we had a camp planning meeting and we decided that we need
to break down into more specified planning groups. There were 3 groups
Performance, Celebrations and Camp. Lillie is heading up the
performance, Chris the celebrations and he has given me the task of
heading up the camp!
When I asked what that involved he told me if it is not performance or
celebration, then it is camp! How daunting!
I was freaked out for a bit but after speaking to a few trusted people
I began to realise that I must be the main communicator to all the
people working with me, this way everything will get done. My problem
is that I am not to good if people do not do it properly, I do not
suffer fools lightly!
Recently I meet with someone who said to me about where I plan to be or
head to in youth work? I said I am not to sure, I love working in
schools and spending time with young people and that is why I am a
youth worker.
They said had I ever thought about leadership? I said I struggle to
dress myself in the morning, not to sure I am the right person to lead
others. They were encouraging and said that I have leadership skills
and people follow me (was not sure that was a good thing!).
Well I now have the challenge of stretching myself more than I thought
I would in this space of time, naturally with things life leadership
and responsibility I tend to hang back as i do not like it in a way, I
much prefer helping so that I can spend more time with the young
people!
I will keep you update as to where I am!
abilities, push ourselves to reach more, gain more, never staying still
as we may become stagnant.
Last night we had a camp planning meeting and we decided that we need
to break down into more specified planning groups. There were 3 groups
Performance, Celebrations and Camp. Lillie is heading up the
performance, Chris the celebrations and he has given me the task of
heading up the camp!
When I asked what that involved he told me if it is not performance or
celebration, then it is camp! How daunting!
I was freaked out for a bit but after speaking to a few trusted people
I began to realise that I must be the main communicator to all the
people working with me, this way everything will get done. My problem
is that I am not to good if people do not do it properly, I do not
suffer fools lightly!
Recently I meet with someone who said to me about where I plan to be or
head to in youth work? I said I am not to sure, I love working in
schools and spending time with young people and that is why I am a
youth worker.
They said had I ever thought about leadership? I said I struggle to
dress myself in the morning, not to sure I am the right person to lead
others. They were encouraging and said that I have leadership skills
and people follow me (was not sure that was a good thing!).
Well I now have the challenge of stretching myself more than I thought
I would in this space of time, naturally with things life leadership
and responsibility I tend to hang back as i do not like it in a way, I
much prefer helping so that I can spend more time with the young
people!
I will keep you update as to where I am!
Maybe a blessing in disguise!
How frustrating! My training was going so well then i had a slight
injury in my foot, got over that and now I have a pain in my calf every
time I run!
I was really getting into running again and I was feeling much fitter,
but now I am losing motivation and have had enough of the little
niggles.
But then again maybe it is a blessing in disguise, I put a lot into
training as I want to see the results, it means a lot to me. Being a
Christian also means a lot to me but I am not sure that I put as much
effort into that 'training' as I should and many days I am not sure I
see any results. I have tried to keep to a idea that I will not train
unless I have done something spiritual. As with a lot in my life it is
all good intentions. I do want to give more time to God, so maybe not
being able to train will force me to do that.
Let us hope so.
injury in my foot, got over that and now I have a pain in my calf every
time I run!
I was really getting into running again and I was feeling much fitter,
but now I am losing motivation and have had enough of the little
niggles.
But then again maybe it is a blessing in disguise, I put a lot into
training as I want to see the results, it means a lot to me. Being a
Christian also means a lot to me but I am not sure that I put as much
effort into that 'training' as I should and many days I am not sure I
see any results. I have tried to keep to a idea that I will not train
unless I have done something spiritual. As with a lot in my life it is
all good intentions. I do want to give more time to God, so maybe not
being able to train will force me to do that.
Let us hope so.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
'i' is the way to go!
'i' seems to be taking over. I have now realised that I am checking
the apple website daily.
I have an 'i Book' and am not sure I could live without my beloved
friend and life partner my 'ipod'.
I am starting to try and convert people to buy Apple products. They
look great and are really easy to use and I am in danger of becoming an
Apple Geek! God help me please!
I may have all this but can I put a picture up on my blog posts, no!
Anyone know how please share the wealth!
the apple website daily.
I have an 'i Book' and am not sure I could live without my beloved
friend and life partner my 'ipod'.
I am starting to try and convert people to buy Apple products. They
look great and are really easy to use and I am in danger of becoming an
Apple Geek! God help me please!
I may have all this but can I put a picture up on my blog posts, no!
Anyone know how please share the wealth!
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Everybody hurts
When we make big decisions in life they can affect many people, even
when we know it is best for us, it does not take away the pain that we
feel when we see people that we love hurt.
Recently (a few months ago now) I made some decisions that affect lots
of people that I love and care for very much. Each day I have to deal
with some guilt for hurting them, I have to deal with the fact that
some of them think I did the wrong thing, I get encouragement from some
that think I did the right thing for me and others just do not say
anything.
I now have to face the new challenge of just getting on with my life
and trying to leave that guilt and pain behind (easier said than done).
Also the challenge of becoming more open as a person, blogging is
helping. I do not want to be someone that people look at and think
'he's got it all together' I want to give off a real view, I want to
let the guard down a bit, show that I am human too.
I have been challenged to be more open with some people that are close
to me, this has been hard but also rewarding, each time it feels as if
a little weight has been lifted off.
I am only a short way on this journey of openness, a journey that I am
sure will never end as I do not see myself ever being someone who
shares everything with the world and it's mother, but I plan to be more
open to all and especially those closest to me.
All I can say is keep reading!
when we know it is best for us, it does not take away the pain that we
feel when we see people that we love hurt.
Recently (a few months ago now) I made some decisions that affect lots
of people that I love and care for very much. Each day I have to deal
with some guilt for hurting them, I have to deal with the fact that
some of them think I did the wrong thing, I get encouragement from some
that think I did the right thing for me and others just do not say
anything.
I now have to face the new challenge of just getting on with my life
and trying to leave that guilt and pain behind (easier said than done).
Also the challenge of becoming more open as a person, blogging is
helping. I do not want to be someone that people look at and think
'he's got it all together' I want to give off a real view, I want to
let the guard down a bit, show that I am human too.
I have been challenged to be more open with some people that are close
to me, this has been hard but also rewarding, each time it feels as if
a little weight has been lifted off.
I am only a short way on this journey of openness, a journey that I am
sure will never end as I do not see myself ever being someone who
shares everything with the world and it's mother, but I plan to be more
open to all and especially those closest to me.
All I can say is keep reading!
Cold place to be
The house is a cold place to be as the heating has decided that it does
not want to work properly right now! I think it may be warmer in the
garden right now.
Had a really encouraging email today from an old friend (Hairs) who
said that my blog is quite deep. If you knew me you would know that
that is the last thing most people would say about me!
It got me thinking and reading back on what I have already written on
this blog. I see that I am still on this journey of faith even though
there have been times recently where I thought I had given up. Just a
few week ago I hit another one of those walls where everything seems
useless and God seems so far away and you get stuck in that hole of 'I
have not spoken to God in so long that I can't stat now!'
Thankfully again God has helped me out of that hole. still some days I
slip back in a bit, but He has my hand. I have had a couple of verses
that have kept me sain recently Romans 12:12, By joyful in hope,
patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. Right now there do not
seem to be more true words to try and live by. The other is the story
of where Jesus turned water into wine (John 2), it is a story that I
have heard so many times but I have never seen what I see now, before!
This is how I see it....
Jesus is asked by his mum (Mary) to sort out some more wine (she
obvisouly liked a tipple!), he says it is not time for him yet, but she
tells the catering staff to do as he says.
So Jesus gets them to fill these huge jugs/barrels (they seem to be
small swimming pools) with water. Then he gets them to take a normal
sized jug of the water to the wine taster. He checks it out and says
that is ab fab! Wine taster asks the bridegroom why he left the best
wine till last!
Now that i have retold it I will now tell you what i got from this!
mary had the faith to ask Jesus to help her enjoy the wedding/life
Jesus could have said, no I am not making any wine, but instead he made
the best wine and loads of it! He wants us to enjoy life and life to
the full. So often I feel that Christians do
not like to have to much fun as they feel that would be wrong because
Christianity is all about persecution.
God made the world and he made life and he wants us to enjoy it, and
when we are having a hard time he wants us to live as Paul did when he
wrote to the church in Rome!
This story has uplifted me and has helped me to remember how much God
loves me and wants the best for me, even though I choose wrong each
day.
not want to work properly right now! I think it may be warmer in the
garden right now.
Had a really encouraging email today from an old friend (Hairs) who
said that my blog is quite deep. If you knew me you would know that
that is the last thing most people would say about me!
It got me thinking and reading back on what I have already written on
this blog. I see that I am still on this journey of faith even though
there have been times recently where I thought I had given up. Just a
few week ago I hit another one of those walls where everything seems
useless and God seems so far away and you get stuck in that hole of 'I
have not spoken to God in so long that I can't stat now!'
Thankfully again God has helped me out of that hole. still some days I
slip back in a bit, but He has my hand. I have had a couple of verses
that have kept me sain recently Romans 12:12, By joyful in hope,
patient in affliction and faithful in prayer. Right now there do not
seem to be more true words to try and live by. The other is the story
of where Jesus turned water into wine (John 2), it is a story that I
have heard so many times but I have never seen what I see now, before!
This is how I see it....
Jesus is asked by his mum (Mary) to sort out some more wine (she
obvisouly liked a tipple!), he says it is not time for him yet, but she
tells the catering staff to do as he says.
So Jesus gets them to fill these huge jugs/barrels (they seem to be
small swimming pools) with water. Then he gets them to take a normal
sized jug of the water to the wine taster. He checks it out and says
that is ab fab! Wine taster asks the bridegroom why he left the best
wine till last!
Now that i have retold it I will now tell you what i got from this!
mary had the faith to ask Jesus to help her enjoy the wedding/life
Jesus could have said, no I am not making any wine, but instead he made
the best wine and loads of it! He wants us to enjoy life and life to
the full. So often I feel that Christians do
not like to have to much fun as they feel that would be wrong because
Christianity is all about persecution.
God made the world and he made life and he wants us to enjoy it, and
when we are having a hard time he wants us to live as Paul did when he
wrote to the church in Rome!
This story has uplifted me and has helped me to remember how much God
loves me and wants the best for me, even though I choose wrong each
day.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
New Year, New Start... (as always!)
Well it is 2005 and I have just realised that i have not yet blogged
this year! How have I managed to survive?
So far the year has been good, I know that we are only 17 days into it,
but so far so good! The boys and I decided to detox for the month and
that is going well.
I have been writing down my thoughts and feeling (with the idea of
never showing anyone!) and this has been really helpful. At first it
was quite hard to be honest with myself as I kept having the thought
'what if someone reads it?' but then I thought how is anyone going to
be able to get hold of it and read it?
It has been freeing and a real breath of fresh air. Being able to be
open and think of things clearly and to follow through a thought has
been great. When I go back and read what I have written I can see
where I have progressed and where i need to keep pushing myself.
I am also trying to be more open with people, this is not going as
well, but I am trying.
Everything else has been pretty good, training is going well, church is
pretty good, car has been MOT'd and did not cost too much and I have
brought new football boots and running trainers! I am not sure life
can get any better?
I really like New Year as you are able to look back and take stock of
the past year and think about what you want from the year ahead.
I hope and pray that you all have great hopes and dreams for this New
Year.
As yet I have not made any resolutions but I will keep you posted.
this year! How have I managed to survive?
So far the year has been good, I know that we are only 17 days into it,
but so far so good! The boys and I decided to detox for the month and
that is going well.
I have been writing down my thoughts and feeling (with the idea of
never showing anyone!) and this has been really helpful. At first it
was quite hard to be honest with myself as I kept having the thought
'what if someone reads it?' but then I thought how is anyone going to
be able to get hold of it and read it?
It has been freeing and a real breath of fresh air. Being able to be
open and think of things clearly and to follow through a thought has
been great. When I go back and read what I have written I can see
where I have progressed and where i need to keep pushing myself.
I am also trying to be more open with people, this is not going as
well, but I am trying.
Everything else has been pretty good, training is going well, church is
pretty good, car has been MOT'd and did not cost too much and I have
brought new football boots and running trainers! I am not sure life
can get any better?
I really like New Year as you are able to look back and take stock of
the past year and think about what you want from the year ahead.
I hope and pray that you all have great hopes and dreams for this New
Year.
As yet I have not made any resolutions but I will keep you posted.
Monday, January 17, 2005
New Year, New Start ... (as always!)
Well it is 2005 and I have just realised that i have not yet blogged
this year! How have I managed to survive?
So far the year has been good, I know that we are only 17 days into it,
but so far so good! The boys and I decided to detox for the month and
that is going well.
I have been writing down my thoughts and feeling (with the idea of
never showing anyone!) and this has been really helpful. At first it
was quite hard to be honest with myself as I kept having the thought
'what if someone reads it?' but then I thought how is anyone going to
be able to get hold of it and read it?
It has been freeing and a real breath of fresh air. Being able to be
open and think of things clearly and to follow through a thought has
been great. When I go back and read what I have written I can see
where I have progressed and where i need to keep pushing myself.
I am also trying to be more open with people, this is not going as
well, but I am trying.
Everything else has been pretty good, training is going well, church is
pretty good, car has been MOT'd and did not cost too much and I have
brought new football boots and running trainers! I am not sure life
can get any better?
I really like New Year as you are able to look back and take stock of
the past year and think about what you want from the year ahead.
I hope and pray that you all have great hopes and dreams for this New
Year.
As yet I have not made any resolutions but I will keep you posted.
this year! How have I managed to survive?
So far the year has been good, I know that we are only 17 days into it,
but so far so good! The boys and I decided to detox for the month and
that is going well.
I have been writing down my thoughts and feeling (with the idea of
never showing anyone!) and this has been really helpful. At first it
was quite hard to be honest with myself as I kept having the thought
'what if someone reads it?' but then I thought how is anyone going to
be able to get hold of it and read it?
It has been freeing and a real breath of fresh air. Being able to be
open and think of things clearly and to follow through a thought has
been great. When I go back and read what I have written I can see
where I have progressed and where i need to keep pushing myself.
I am also trying to be more open with people, this is not going as
well, but I am trying.
Everything else has been pretty good, training is going well, church is
pretty good, car has been MOT'd and did not cost too much and I have
brought new football boots and running trainers! I am not sure life
can get any better?
I really like New Year as you are able to look back and take stock of
the past year and think about what you want from the year ahead.
I hope and pray that you all have great hopes and dreams for this New
Year.
As yet I have not made any resolutions but I will keep you posted.
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