Tonight I had a good time with a good friend. We talked for quite a
while (we have not done that for a long time).
We shot the breeze for a while and then we just started to have quite
deep conversation. They said that I always keep people at a distance
but I let them believe that I have let them into my circle but really
they are on the outside! They said that I do this with everyone and
that there are only a few people that can actually see the 'me'
behind the mask.
This got me really thinking! Why do I keep people at such a
distance? Recently a friend said to me 'I can not tell you what I
know about you!' They have known me for some time and yet they can
not recall anytime that I have shared something with them.
I get a bit obsessive about anyone trying to read my mail, emails or
texts on my phone, but yet I have nothing to hide! Why is this?
My friend tonight said something that really encouraged me. It gave
me such encouragement because they really meant it, what they said
was 'I truly believe in you. You will succeed in all that you do!'
This meant a lot to me because as I prepare to go away for a year on
my own - anyone who knows me knows that this is a huge deal as I
always want people around as I am an extreme extrovert! I have to
deal with the fact that I am going to face hard times, lonely times,
times of just feeling inadequate and not feeling myself. So for them
to say this really lifted me, they said that I may face these times
but they believe I will overcome them. I pray that it will be these
times that will draw me closer to God, that I will rely on His
strength and not my own. That is the other challenge; not being
strong. I am always strong, I try never to let my emotions out.
Sometimes you just can't help it.
I was given a picture of one of my Princesses and I just stared at it
and then thought of what it will be like to leave them, that got me
upset! See even I have emotions.
What will the next 12 months have in store for me? Who knows! What
I do know is that as I a person I am bound to change and I pray that
it be for the better!
I think that this is enough for one night!
5 comments:
That was a really deep post! I can probably agree with what your friend said about keeping people at a distance but letting them think that they are in your circle. I would say that that's what you do. You are someone who makes everyone feel accepted and you get engaged in relationships with many people, yet none of these people know much about you. One question; who are your princesses?
My Princesses are my three beautiful Neices!
That's really sweet!
yo kieran! soul survivor was awesome mate, just quick post so u can get onto my blog, gill xx
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